Do You Still Love Me?
by happycamper2013
Summary: Clark is asked the hard question. Post Cyborg. CLANA!


**Do You Still Love Me**

_by_ _happycamper2013_

It is late morning, the day after the end of cyborg. Clark sits dejectedly in his barn as he contemplated his last conversation with Lana.

I just can keep doing this to Lana. I love her too much, and I'm torturing her with disappointment after every false hope I give her. I really have to choose what I want more, her safety or her lov...

"Clark", said a soft voice.

"Um, hi Lana" he managed, surprised that he was so wrapped up in his misery that he didn't hear her approach to the barn.

"Clark, I thought I'd tell you that I had a talk with Chloe last night", she told him, with a different, open stare at his face. "I saw the special look you two exchanged at the Daily Planet, when I asked how Victor could lie to his girlfriend."

He saw the rings under her eyes, from another sleepless night he had caused her. "Um, what do you mean special look?"

"Funny, Chloe said the same thing. I blew up at her, and we argued most of the night. But don't worry Clark, your secret is still safe."

"Lana, I want you to know that..."

"Just forget about it Clark. I know you're not going to share it with me," she said with that same open stare into his face. "I know you'd never hurt me physically, and I guess you aren't choosing to torment me emotionally, either, no matter how much it actually does. It's probably for some noble reason in your head, and I'm not going to be able to convince you otherwise."

"Lana, I...", Clark said brokenly.

"Clark, I think we need to make our break-up final," Lana announced calmly. "I've asked for the truth, and you're not going to give it to me."

Clark stared at Lana, with a thousand thoughts and dreams in his head. But finally, the need for her safety won out. "OK," he softly said, and his heart broke as he saw the unshed tears appear suddenly in her eyes.

Lana still stared into his face with that open expression. "I just need to know, Clark, whether you still love me, or if..." she was unable to finish.

"Lana, I..." Clark started, wanting to tell her just how much he loved her, and would always love her, but the danger to her that would always accompany loving him struck with a force he couldn't overcome. "Lana, I'm sorry. I still care for you deeply, and will do anything to protect you. But, I just don't love you that way any more."

With those words, Clark saw the tears in Lana's eyes shed as she continuing looking into his face. His heart was breaking, but he knew that her sorrow now would save her an infinite amount of future pain. Surprisingly, there were no cries of pain or anger from Lana, only that same open stare. Then he saw the decision and resolve in her eyes, and his heart broke all over again. "Good bye Clark," she said with finality, as she turned to leave.

Clark spent a lonely afternoon and evening, because his mother was in Metropolis for some briefings as the new Senator, and because Chloe had responded angrily to his call after Lana's departure, and had told him that his stubbornness would probably cost her any chance of continuing her friendship with Lana.

When he finally went to bed, the conversation with Lana repeated itself endlessly in his head. How could he have handled it differently? How could he have lessened the damage, so that he wouldn't lose her completely? He was at the point of being physically ill from the rush of his emotions, and with the realization that Lana was now gone forever.

Clark wanted to scream at the unfairness of the world, to break and destroy everything around him, and make everyone else share the pain he was enduring. But then he saw Lana's face in his thoughts – at the cemetary, at the dance, in the cave, and all the times in the barn. He finally realized that losing their realtionship was the lesser evil, that simply knowing that Lana would stay alive gracing the world and the people around her would have to be enough. Clark remembered all the times she had told him she loved him, and decided that it would have to do.

Clark's happy dream of walking hand-in-hand with Lana through the fields was interrupted by a shifting of his bed.

"Uh, what . ."

"Shhh", interrupted a soft voice, as warm lips closed on his.

"I must be still dreaming," Clark said aloud, as the kiss ended. He stared confusedly at a beautiful face.

"No, I'm really here," Lana reassured him.

"But how; why? I thought after our last conversation that you were never going to see me again?"

Lana stared at him with the same open expression she had given Clark in the loft. "I love you, you know, and decided that our love was going to have to be enough."

"Lan..."

Lana put a finger to his lips, and whispered "What I didn't tell you was that I couldn't sleep after my fight with Chloe, and thought about you the rest of the night. In the past, I could never get over the fact that you wouldn't share your secret with me despite our love, and almost hated you for it. But I kept remembering how you were always somehow there for me, supporting me, saving me from danger, and able to see what was inside me when no one else could do the same. And, I wasn't kidding when I said I realized that your silence was for some noble, if probably stupid reason."

"Lana, I will always...ouch, that hurt," Clark complained, as Lana whacked him soundly on the arm, "what was that for?"

"That was for always lying to me," Lana slyly grinned, "but as I was saying, I had to truly decide whether having Clark Kent with his secrets was better than not having him at all. I decided that secrets or not, I wanted you in my life and came this afternoon to tell you that. I can always work on your secrets, later. But," she said more quietly, "I had to know whether all these problems we've been having the last few months had somehow affected our relationship." Shyly, "I had to know if you still loved me."

Laughing softly at Clark's goggle-eyed stare, Lana kissed him soundly. "Well, I got my answer, and I'm here to stay. I apologized to Chloe after our talk this afternoon, and got a little sleep, because I had some seriously tiring plans for this night. Now I don't want to hear another word, the only way that you're going to keep me away any longer from you," she remarked with a look of extreme determination in her face, "is going to require you putting me in a hospital".

The rising elation in Clark's thoughts warred with his complete confusion. "But Lana, I told you that I no longer loved you."

"Silly boy," Lana told him as she reached for him once more, "do you actually believe I would pay any attention to anything you actually **_said_**."


End file.
